


Talisman

by Rachael Sabotini (wickedwords)



Series: Outside Looking In [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-02-01
Updated: 2001-02-01
Packaged: 2018-02-18 08:51:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2342459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedwords/pseuds/Rachael%20Sabotini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neville sees the parallel between Harry and himself</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talisman

**Author's Note:**

> A missing scene from "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire." Many thanks to elynross for doing the beta for me.

It was a memory charm, of course. Neville's grandmother had always been matter of fact about it. "There are some things you don't need to remember."

No, Neville thought as he stared up at the ceiling in his room at Hogwarts, there were some things he didn't * _want*_ to remember. The way his parents looked every time he visited, for one; his embarrassment about the time his grandmother had sent him the howler for another. But how many things, he wondered, had he forgotten because the memory charm was in place?

He thought he heard screaming. He screwed his eyes shut and tried not to think about it; he wasn't sure if the voice was his mom's -- or his own. Seeing that spider curl around itself on Moody's desk had brought the hint of a memory back. He'd tried to push it away, like he'd been taught, but -- he could tell the spider would have been screaming, too.

Had they cursed him? The death eaters claimed that they'd left the child untouched, but could he really trust what they said? Had one of the memory charms erased the fact that a child had been given the Cruciatus Curse?

Who was it he remembered screaming back then?

He rolled sideways and curled up a little, taking a quick glance at Harry Potter's bed. He knew Harry wasn't sleeping, and for probably the same reason he couldn't sleep; they both had experience with the unforgivable curses. And they both remembered.

Did Harry remember what happened when he'd been cursed? Neville flopped an arm over his eyes as he thought. It wasn't something he felt he could ask. No one else at Hogwarts had gone through what they had, and in some way, knowing that Harry and he shared something, that they'd both survived and that Harry was so successful...made it a little easier to deal with. What did it matter that there were holes in his memory that things slipped through sometimes? No one knew if a memory charm itself had been botched, or if something else had happened.... Neville swallowed hard. Whatever it was, he did the best he could, and his gran said that was all anyone could ask.

Really, he didn't know why he was in Gryffindor. He knew he wasn't smart enough to be in Ravenclaw, and he had no ambition to speak of. He'd just *known* he'd end up in Hufflepuff. His gran always said he was a hard worker, even if he was a bit thick.

Still, he wished he could do better. Harry hadn't had a memory charm placed on him, and he seemed to be doing just fine. Maybe if it hadn't happened, Neville would be more like him: stronger, braver, able to do more and not be so frightened all the time.

If wishes were horses, as his gran said. No use crying once the porridge has burned; he just had to pick himself up and go on. Same thing he did every time...something happened.

But oh, that was so hard to do after so many times. Still, at least he wasn't Harry. No one expected him to be the best. He didn't have to be perfect.

Neville rolled onto his stomach and closed his eyes, folding his arms under his pillow and resting his head on the top of the pile. Dawn was coming when Neville finally relaxed enough to get to sleep.

Before he nodded off, he thought about Harry, wondering if it would help Harry to know that he wasn't alone; that Neville couldn't sleep sometimes, either.  



End file.
